Every so often in one's life, the stars align, the planets coordinate, everything just works out to give you a truly great day. Yesterday, for my family, it was just a really great day. It was the kind of day that you dream of....the kind of day shown in movies with the phrase "happily ever after" appearing across the screen. The children were happy and polite and willing to help. Dinner turned out really well. My husband came home earlier than expected. Scouts was moved from its normal location across town to the chapel just down the block from me (so that my son could walk rather than me driving him to and from). The princess went to bed early and without fight. The middle child was given lots of attention and love. And a friend asked if I was interested in trading a few hours of babysitting today (ie, she would watch my youngest in the morning and I would watch her youngest in the afternoon). I went to bed feeling accomplished and happy and content.
In The Alchemist by Paul Coelho, Melchizedek tells Santiago "The Soul of the World is nourished by people's happiness...And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." I believe that when you want for good things, God will help you to achieve them.
I think my family has spent so much time living a life of complacency....not getting better but not getting worse. We were good. We weren't bad. But we were dead in the water. Each day was about the same as the last. We had fun and we had fights, but those were moments that didn't much affect the outcomes.
In the Book of Mormon, the prophet Alma talks about how, in this life, we need the bad to appreciate the good. Without vice, there could be no virtue. And without the bitter, we could not know the sweet.
I've heard it debated ad nauseum whether one could truly be grateful for their trials...for the bad things in life...because no one really wants to have to go through the bad things even if it does eventually bring good. Does anyone really *want* to have to exercise to be thin or to work to get money or repent to be forgiven? No. But on the other hand, right now I am grateful for my trials because I am grateful for the opportunity to be woken up. I'm grateful for my little family. And hopefully, these experiences will give us the knowledge and wisdom we need to stop this cycle.
I work on computers. That is my profession and hobby and skill set. It's not what I went to school for, but I picked it up along the way. In my work, I would say that about 85% of all software problems that I worked on were caused by pornography, pirating, or both. The other 15% is what we affectionately refer to as "I-D-10-T Errors." In the past, whenever I have discussed computer safety with groups, either as a commenter or a lecturer, I've often quipped "Whether it happens in a backseat, a dark alley, or online, when it comes to sexual sin, you're probably walking away with a virus." I thought I knew so much. But I know now how ignorant I really have been. How naïve. Not that I was wrong...I just didn't have as much of the picture as I thought I did.
I see the signs in hindsight now. I see the signs in others, too. I think my father-in-law has a problem, though he will never get help because of the shame associated with it. I know that at least a few of my brothers-in-law have problems. Some have gotten help; other haven't. Is it like alcoholism where the tendency is at least somewhat genetic? Does the fact that my husband's family has a problem with this in at least the immediate past predetermine the same struggle in my sons? I don't know. I'm afraid for them. But despite at least 150 years of known alcoholics in my family tree, I have broken the cycle. And whether or not there is a genetic component to this, my sons are going to be tempted. Pornography is everywhere, and it is more readily available than it ever has before. It has the ability to be completely anonymous. There is no need to visit strip clubs where you can be seen or to walk into a grocery store where a cashier will look you in the eye while you hand her your cash. It isn't just free, it is abundant! It doesn't wait for you to seek it out; it seeks *you* out and draws you in. And I realize now that I can't just put up the barricades and hope that my sons can avoid it until they are old enough to know better. I need to teach them the dangers so that they are willing to set up the barricades themselves. I need to teach them that it is a sin, but it is also forgivable. I need to teach them that just like everything else; lying, cheating, theft, and forgetting to say your prayers; it is forgivable. "For all have fallen short of the glory of God."
I went to the temple today. That's what I did with my kid-free morning. I could have tackled the mountain of laundry downstairs, or I could have gone to breakfast with my husband. But I think I needed to go to the House of my Father. I needed to spend some time in service of my fellow man and drinking in His Spirit. Today has been a bit of a frustrating day. The dog is driving me insane, and the Princess desperately needs a nap....but I feel so much more hope today than I have in a while. I do not fear. As Nephi says, I do not know the truth of all things, nevertheless, I know that God loveth His children (paraphrased). I hope for good things. And I have faith that as a child of the true and living and loving God, He will move mountains in helping me to achieve those good things. I can't say I know it...I can't say that I deserve it...but I have faith....I have hope....and it took a bad day and a great day for that seed of faith to sprout.
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