Of course I got lost. I always get lost. I finally found the right building and dreaded a bit the fact that the parking lot was full and that a car pulled into the spot next to me.
I kind of hoped that it would be like the AA meetings on Grey's Anatomy where it's a decent sized room filled with folding chairs and a podium with a microphone at the front. I was hoping to park up front and slink in the back without being noticed. And I hoped to only be forced into polite chit chat after it was all said and done as I grabbed stale cookies and juice with the other attendees at the end of the meeting.
But instead, I found myself in a seminary building next door to the high school. Walking through the doors was like walking into a chapel with couches and fake flowers and pictures of Christ everywhere.
The room hung heavy with too much cologne...and a sign hung on each side of the double doors confirming that those who wanted to attend a meeting were in the right place.
As I walked through the doors into the comfortable foyer, there was a wall in front of me and a hallway to each side. I laughed a little at the mosque style signs and arrows indicating that men were to head to the right while the women were to head down the hallway to the left. And at the end of the seemingly long hallway, there was a small classroom with maybe 7 desks pulled out of their regular rows to forms a sloppy, makeshift circle.
There was no podium and no quiet, unnoticed slinking as 3 of the 4 women already seated had chosen spots that faced the door.
I sat in the chair closest to the door and the person who had been in the car that pulled into the parking lot behind me came in a short time later, taking the seat next to me. One more woman entered a few minutes later and the whole party was assembled.
They were discussing lesson 5 from the manual on overcomingpornography.org. It was a quick discussion. There wasn't a lot of sharing. 2 of the original occupants of the room were missionaries trained by LDS social services. One was an older middle aged woman. Another was probably in her 50s. Those 4 spoke the most. The woman who had come in last had been to one previous meeting, but the woman sitting next to me was at her first meeting....like me...and she stayed very quiet.
Spiritually, I'm not sure what I expected from this experience. It was good. I guess I had kind of hoped to meet my new best friend. I don't think that happened. Maybe next time, though. Maybe next time I can participate more and make a friend.
The thing, though, was it was all about me. It wasn't about his addiction or the things he has done wrong. This is about me becoming a better person, developing a better relationship with my Father in Heaven. And so, I think I'll come again.
As I was sitting there, I was thinking, what do I expect to get out of this? And the thought immediately came that maybe I need to stop thinking about what I'm going to get and maybe be prepared to help someone else if they need it.
I do have to say that the Spirit in the room was more palpable than I have felt in such a long time. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me. I felt that so strongly tonight. Maybe I did find my new best friend. It's cheesy, but maybe that's what I needed...maybe Christ needs to be my best friend. I need to accept Him and know that He can be enough.
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